I just picked up my two-month-old Jack Russell last Sunday. I’ve always loved dogs and I wanted so badly to have one that I’ve been obsessing over it for the last several months. I already bought his collar, got lot of toys, read a ton of books, and was really looking foward to have this beautiful little thing with me.
The first day went great; when we let him in his bed, he only ‘cried’ for five minutes and then slept through the whole night. But, the second day, I felt really overwhelmed because I always expect to be able to do anything that I read—and considered dog ownership to be just the same! But, the reality is that he wants to be with me 24/7 (and I get it, it’s a baby), so I don’t know what to do. I try to play with him, but he just wants to snuggle or be around me. I can’t move more than two steps away.
At night, it was very difficult to calm him down and make him stay in his bed. I spent hours trying to put him to sleep and I finally was able to sleep until 5:00 in the morning when he woke up and started to cry. I live in an apartment, and I’m really stressed out because of the neighbors. My boyfriend picked him up and both ended up sleeping on the couch. Meanwhile, I spent the whole night with nightmares of him crying or having ‘accidents’ around the house because I’m not able to train him.
I’m really scared and feel such a weight on top of my stomach that I actually thought about taking him to the breeder again. I’m scared my parents and boyfriend think I’m weak or resent me because they really love it. I hate the idea of not being able to take care of this little puppy that I wished and wanted for so long. I feel totally lost.
For me, it was helpful to know that many others had been in the same place when first getting their puppy. And, like me, I’m sure you’ll bond and be inexplicably happy with your puppy if you give it time. Trust the process!
As a quick question, you talk about putting your dog to bed…do you have a crate? (For example, this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000QFT1RC/?tag=clam08-20)? Crates are an essential part of training your dog for a few reasons:
1) You don’t have to worry about accidents while they’re in the crate
2) It gives you a bit of time “off” (especially at night!)
3) It keeps your puppy safe when you can’t protect them (such as while you’re gone or—again—at night)
It isn’t unusual to have a puppy dislike their crate at first. You have to work hard to make it a happy place—giving them treats when they go in, never using it as a punishment, and making it comfortable. Over time, my dog would go in the crate on her own when she wanted a little space/to sleep.
Second, know that puppies need to pee A LOT. It’s not uncommon to wake up in the night and take them out to use the bathroom. If you set an alarm or two for the same time(s) every night, your dog will get on a schedule that helps prevent accidents and crying during the night.
But, at some point, you need to know that always rewarding crying with extra attention is going to likely result in more crying. Dogs are creatures of associations…they do a trick, they get a treat. The same works for bad behavior…if you give in and give them what they want, they’ll often see a pattern and continue bad behavior. It may be hard in the short term to ignore crying, but in the long term it’s likely better (but, of course, you should make sure the crying is because he needs to use the bathroom or because he’s hurt!).
I am feeling exactly the same right now, so much so my parents have taken over the care of my puppy for part of the time. I don’t know what I would do without them. Everyone just sees the cute photos and having cuddles/play time but then they leave and you sit there thinking what now? I too have considered taking my pup back to the breeder which only makes me hate myself more! I love animals, I’ve cared for dogs before and wanted one my whole life but now the thought of caring for my fur baby makes me feel sick with anxiety. Right now I’m just trying to persevere and hope it stops. But I feel like I’m not good enough for her. She deserves better. I’ve made positive steps like booking a training class for us to go to and getting out for a walk helps. Maybe you could try the Same? I have a crate for Poppy so at least I don’t have the worry she is destroying things. But she does cry which is so hard to listen to. I just wanted to let you know you are not on your own.